Wedding Edition | Secrets to a Happy Marriage

July 29, 2013

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Hello ♥

On Friday my parents celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary and in a society where separation and divorce seems to be commonplace as soon as you hit your first hurdle, I am sure you'll agree that this is some achievement. I do, of course, understand that some marriages are just not built to last but it does beg the question, what magic formula have my parents' discovered to keep their marriage alive and kicking?

It has been no easy feat. How could it have been with six daughters to raise on only one income and a seventeen year age gap between the oldest and youngest? But do you know what? They made it work. I wondered how they made time for each other without the six of us. I don't remember them ever having date nights without us. We always did things as a family. Then I realised there was most definitely a reason for their 2am bedtime; between 12pm and 2am was the only time they really got to spend alone together whilst we were growing up.

I think that it goes without saying that you should marry not only someone you love and can't live without but your best friend. Here are five secrets to a happy and successful marriage. 

001. Communicate
How many times have you seen this written in relationship advice columns? The thing is there is a very good reason why it comes up time and time again: it's true. A healthy relationship can't be achievable unless you can be completely honest and open. I don't just mean you should talk about your feelings and hopes for the future (of course, you should) but also about your day at work or your interests. Nothing is too mundane to mention to the person your spending your life with.

002. Be Yourself
It is so important to be yourself from the outset of a relationship and even more important to continue to do so throughout your marriage. If you pretend to be someone else or pretend to like something you don't in the early stages you are headed for disaster. If you can't be honest with the person you are spending the rest of your life with then you're cheating yourself, and them, from seeing the real you. That's no way to live.

003. Argue and Fight
This might seem a strange one but it is completely normal. Everyone argues with their significant other at some point. It is a healthy thing to do to clear any tension or  voice any grievances you have with the other. I'm not saying try to start World War III very once in a while but having an argument is actually pretty healthy for both you and the relationship. But once you've had that argument try to move on and not rehash it in every fight in the future.

004. Don't Try to Change Them
Just like being yourself allowing your partner to be themselves is essential for all the same reasons. Leave the snide remarks about their flaws at the door. Everyone has flaws but that's what makes them who they are. If these issues are too big for you then, just maybe, they aren't the one for you. So he like to play Xbox all the time or wants to watch football or rugby 24/7, big deal! That's what makes them who they are. I'm sure they love you, clothes addiction and all.

005. Be faithful
A faithful relationship. Do these things exist anymore? Yes.
When a partner strays all trust is broken. I truly believe (and my parents agree) that all successful relationships should be based on mutual trust. The moment someone is unfaithful you have to either make the decision to stay or cut and run. If you stay you have to rebuild your trust all over again and, with knowledge of your partner cheating in the past, this is often easier said than done. 

Congratulations mum and dad on another anniversary. I'm so proud to be your daughter and thankful for all that you have done for me as a partnership.  I hope that when I eventually do get married my marriage with Kami will be as strong as yours.  Love you always x

So there you have it. What would be your tips to a happy and successful marriage or relationship? Share your thought in the comments below!

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3 comments :

  1. Lovely post :D I think communication and accepting each other just the way you are are key to having a happy and successful marriage or relationship for that matter.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I agree. Whenever the other half and I have had an argument in the past (very rarely) it has always been because of a lack of communication. Talking and sharing thoughts and feelings is so important if you want to work at a relationship I think.

      Debi x

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  2. I think your parents are quite comfortable with each other, that they find it hard to imagine life with other people. Haha! Anyway, I definitely agree with number one; sharing things with your partner and being open to them plays a major role in keeping the relationship healthy. It takes away all the reservations the couples have, and helps them accept all the imperfections they may have.

    Brandi Kennedy @ Restoration Counseling Boise

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