When Will I Feel Grown Up?

May 09, 2014

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 It's got nothing to do with the subject matter of today's post but I was looking at old photographs and love how this fountain is lit up. Salou, 2009.

Sometimes I wonder what actually constitutes being a grown up. I wonder if there is a moment where you suddenly realise that you have outgrown your childish thoughts and immaturity and have taken your first steps into the big adult world. When does the transition from being a young adult to a proper grown up actually take place? Is it noticeable? Does it come with a specific age? What does being grown up even feel like?

I might have mentioned once or twice As you know I'm on the brink of getting married.. Well, it's still three months away but it is all starting to feel real, leaving me with noughts in my stomach whenever I think about it. When I was younger I always thought getting married meant you were grown up but I still feel eighteen. I had thought that not living with my parents, having a proper relationship, having to pay bills would make me feel like an adult. Honestly though I still feel like I'm just playing pretend.

Here's a list of things that I used to think would make me feel like a grown-up  (they don't)
  •  Cooking dinner every night.  This doesn't mean that I am a mature, responsible adult. It just  means I'm hungry.
  •  Paying bills. This only makes me mad about how much everything costs but then again, I used to complain about the very same thing as a teenager when all my friends were spending too much money on clothes and going out.
  •  Decorating your own home. Even though making a decision is incredibly hard for me, decorating our flat was honestly one of the most enjoyable things we did when we moved in. However, once it is done, it is done and you have to live with any poor choices or regrets until you have the money to change it again. This doesn't necessarily make you grown-up but it feels like playing pretend house.
  •  Having a mortgage. Having to pay money every month to the bank to own a property or risk having it taken from us fails to make me feel like the mature twenty-four year old that I should. Instead, it makes me feel like a scared little girl, worrying about the what ifs.
  •  Being able to drink alcohol. Maybe if I went out often or even drank more than about four times a year this would be different but I don't so it doesn't. Plus, if I do drink and end up a bit tipsy or whatever, I immediately feel like the silly seventeen year old me drinking at friend's eighteenth birthday parties. Hardly mature.
  •  Having the responsibility of owning a dog. I thought that having another life to take care of would make me feel responsible but again it just doesn't. Yes, I have to take care of her but I had helped to take care of pets in the past as well as my little sisters growing up.
I don't know what  would qualify me as a grown up. I certainly don't feel any wiser, more mature or responsible now that I'm in my *gulp* mid-twenties even if the outside world sees me as such. Now I finally understand how my parents have felt for years: young at heart.

If you know the secret to feeling grown-up let me know!



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4 comments :

  1. I'm actually finding the house buying malarkey more grown up than I imagined, what with all the paperwork and going back and forth between the realtor and our mortgage lady, I guess being married to. But Joe's like a playful five year old with his love for comic books and Transformers so I don't have to worry about feeling old too often, he keeps me young!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do wonder if actually being married and saying the words "this is my husband" will make me feel more grown up or not. Buying a house is definitely a grown-up thing but I just felt like I was playing pretend. I do think that maybe when we buy a house with a garden I'll feel grown-up. After all it should be our family home with kids if things go as planned!
      Debi x

      Delete
  2. I was reading this in the hope that you would know the secret haha.
    I guess we just enjoy being young at heart. I mean, who wants to be a grown up anyway. It sucks ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope! I know no secrets! There's definitely nothing wrong with being young at heart I just sort expected to feel grown up by now! Haha.
      Debi x

      Delete

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