Six Weeks On

September 11, 2014

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I can't believe it's been six weeks since we said our I dos and danced the night away. It's a blogging cliché but this year is going far too fast.

It seems to me that gone are the days where people thought of the few months after your wedding as the honeymoon period. More often than not people like to tell you that being married is nothing like just dating or living together. Apparently that piece of paper changes everything.

I've read countless articles lately that detail all the things that you need to think about in your first few weeks of marriage. Who will handle the finances? Who does what chores? How much time will you spend doing things together or individually? Are children in your near future? Sometime in the future? Never at all? Supposedly there's none of the fabled wedded-bliss on your horizon as a newly-wed. It's all arguments and fighting over who does (or doesn't) do what and when.

What a load of nonsense.

Maybe it's just me but if you didn't at least have a quick chat about these things in the time prior to getting married you probably weren't ready for it. I don't care about increased divorce rates. Getting married is a life long commitment. If you get married with the mindset of "there's always divorce if it doesn't work out" you are doing the wrong thing!

With marriage being a lifelong commitment surely it only makes sense to have discussed all these things pre-wedding, especially the big stuff like finances. You are meant to know the person you marry and the life you'll have together or at the very least an outline of what you both want. Getting married and then sorting through all these issues seems a bit stupid to me really.

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For me, the first six weeks of marriage have been a breeze. There's been no "surviving" necessary. I no longer have to worry about the stress of every little wedding detail which makes the husband and I less likely to bicker. Yes, money is tight after we paid for the wedding and honeymoon but money is always tight and we continue to work through it. There hasn't been any of the above questions asked because we answered them all well in advance.

If anything getting married has brought us closer together. I find myself happier more often than not. I'm even more open with him than ever before. Whilst we've always been a team, a unit, now we are seen as such to the whole world.

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It's more than that though. We're now officially family.

And we all know how I feel about family.



Photographs copyright of Rod Irvine, our wedding photographer.
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13 comments :

  1. Awe congrats on the six weeks... when I got married I noticed my relationship with my husband was so much better. That "omg he's going to break up with me" every time we got in an argument was no longer there. It made us not make a big deal of little things... and we kinda knew we were stuck together and had to work it out haha Marriage is tough... I've had some days where it's not the happiest of times but I have other days when it's amazing... Money is a big issue but we're working on it and haven't given up :)

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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    1. I know it's only been six weeks but I'm pleased at how easy it has been so far and how much closer together it has brought us. It isn't all that surprising though. We've been fortunate to grow closer together for the past nine years - it wasn't going to change in six weeks! I know that not all of our marriage will be easy but we are both more than willing to work through our problems and fight for each other :) Money will always be an issue I think. We've grown up differently in terms of how much money we had available so we deal with it differently.
      Debi x

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  2. Wow it's six weeks already? That's gone fast! Marriage advice is always funny, and always states the things, like you mentioned that I hope any couple would have worked out or at least discussed before hand. I have more issues dealing with outsiders, especially with me being British and the boy American, i'm still the "mail order bride" as some like to state (that joke is so old now and now all the "well shouldn't you have had a baby by now ..." talk. It's endless haha.

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    1. Ugh, that would annoy me so much. My sister's husband is Australian but they live over here so there's none of that "mail order bride" crap. Although it did take a while for his family to accept he'd really come over here to live for more than a year or two. At least I don't have that! As for the baby talk I think that's really insensitive. Some people don't want kids and that's their choice and then there's people who do but struggle to conceive or are just not financially ready. People are pretty rude sometimes!
      Debi x

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  3. Woah 6 weeks! Where is time going? Come back time!

    I've not had too much marriage talk in my life, thankfully, I can't hand the baby talk! Marriage as well and I might just go crazy.
    Marriage advice, just sounds like regular relationship things to me, seriously, who doesn't discuss this before their marriage?

    People still make the odd marriage joke, I have to bite my tongue from saying "maybe we wull get married, far way, on an island, so you can't be there!" - but that's a little mean ;)

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    1. I know, time is flying in. It'll be Christmas before we know it, dare I say it!

      I totally get that marriage (and kids) isn't for everyone. We got engaged pretty young by today's standards (21) so we avoided any of the constant marriage questions and people still think we are too young for children. Well, except from my little sister who is desperate to be an aunt. But that's just cute and sweet, not annoying! I don't know why anyone wouldn't have discussed all the "issues" before getting engaged, let alone getting married! Maybe that's just me!

      Debi x

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  4. Beautiful post :) I can't imagine the stress that goes into planning a wedding! The thought of it and getting married makes me sweat! I know not a lot about marriage but those things deffo seem like pre-marriage convo topics! Marriage is forever, I hate to see it otherwise.

    Also you look beautiful :) glad Kerri introduced me to your lovely blog xo
    amber love

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    1. Aww thank you.

      There is a lot of stress that comes with wedding planning. We almost called it off simply because it was stressing us so much. I'm so glad that we didn't though! It's worth it. I do believe that marriage should be forever and you should always at least intend it to be!

      Debi x

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  5. Aww what a lovey post. I have only just discovered your blog through Kerri's post! Congratulations on your marriage, it looked like a beautiful day! x

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    1. Thank you :) So nice to see you pop over from Kerri's blog

      Debi x

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